Installing Husband

This was sent to me by a friend and I though others would also enjoy it, so here it is.

A young woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and SPORT 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

IT Support replied:

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7. Good Luck Madam!


JD said...

Brilliant!!! I shared this with my husband and the kids at lunchtime today, and they really appreciated the humor and had a great laugh over it. Except the youngest -- she was a little baffled by it all, but that's quite ok!


Looking forward to reading the rest of your blog later today!!

Much love from Canada...

Jo said...

Omigawd, this is wonnnnnnderful. I'm going to forward it a friend of mine who is engaged to be married soon.

Thank you for the giggle...! :-)

Argent said...

Heehee, I've come across a number of these over the years but that one's one of the better-crafted ones. Thanks for the laugh!

PhilipH said...


Mother in Law a virus! In the background!

Thanks for a hilarious post!

Viewtiful_Justin said...

That's absolutely fantastic!

A human kind of human said...

In my case I found that Cooking 3.0 worked really well but I was a total failure at learning the workings of Hot Looks 7.7.