I am angry... very, very angry.

I have often wished that my mother did not bring me up to be such a decent, well-mannered person, but, alas, she did. To top off her upbringing, I am also a Christian and must love and forgive. If she did not, and if I was not, I could now quite happily walked over to my neighbour's house, knock on her door and when she opens it, just punch her in the face. I want to tell her that she is a mean, cruel, sorry excuse for a human being who pollutes the very air that she breathes. I want to tell her what I hope her future will be like. You've guessed it. I am angry... very, very angry. I want to hurt her. I want to cause her pain. Yes, I am really angry with her and here is the reason why.

She lives in another townhouse complex, directly behind us. Only a fairly high wall separates our houses and when we are in our garden, and she is in her garden, we cannot see one another, but we can hear clearly what is said. She is always at loggerheads with the other people in her complex and is constantly complaining that other people are looking for trouble with her and will not leave her alone. On numerous occassions, she has complained to us about their bad treatment of her. We would lend a comforting ear and words, but soon realised that most of her trouble originates with herself.


On Saturday morning, I was busy in the house but Hubby was outside in the garden. He came in and told me this story. He heard this lady woman talking to her next-door-neighbour. The conversation was about cats catching birds and then she told the other person that if ever he has any problems with cats, he must just catch the cat, put it in the bag and give it to her. She will give it to "Johan" (her son, I think) who will get rid of it, and then she asked him if he had noticed that the grey cat is no longer around.


WELL! My immediate reaction was hurt, followed instantly by such anger that I was quite incapable of any action whatsoever. I just turned away and carried on with what I was doing, but my anger born from a deep ache somewhere deep inside me kept growing.


The grey cat she was talking about could only have been Massey! Massey who so trusted humans that he would not even try to escape if somebody picked him up. Massey who were scared of birds and lizards and everything else bigger than a cockroach simply because he never learned to hunt.  Massey who did not even realise he was a cat. Massey who thought that our whole complex was his home because from day one everybody accepted him because he was so little when he arrived. How can anybody be so evil horrible to catch him, put him in a bag, keep him closed up for God only knows how long before "Johan" arrived to get rid of him. I feel nauseated just thinking of his fear, not understanding what is happening.

I dare not think about him and this situation too much, because I am afraid I will not be able to contain my anger and I realise I must.  There really is nothing I can do to bring him back and even less I can do to make this lady woman understand just what she has done.  I do not understand what kind of human being she must be to be so cruel.  What I do understand now is why she is always experiencing conflict in her life.  It is because she has no compassion or consideration for other people or creatures.  She is only receiving back what she deals out so freely.

I pray that our paths will not cross soon, if ever again, for I am not at all certain of what my reaction would be if we met eye to eye.  I know that I must make peace with what has happened and I will.  Maybe writing this post will kick off the process of forgiving her. With time, my anger will dissipate, but it will be a long, long time before I will see her again as "human".