I am angry... very, very angry.

I have often wished that my mother did not bring me up to be such a decent, well-mannered person, but, alas, she did. To top off her upbringing, I am also a Christian and must love and forgive. If she did not, and if I was not, I could now quite happily walked over to my neighbour's house, knock on her door and when she opens it, just punch her in the face. I want to tell her that she is a mean, cruel, sorry excuse for a human being who pollutes the very air that she breathes. I want to tell her what I hope her future will be like. You've guessed it. I am angry... very, very angry. I want to hurt her. I want to cause her pain. Yes, I am really angry with her and here is the reason why.

She lives in another townhouse complex, directly behind us. Only a fairly high wall separates our houses and when we are in our garden, and she is in her garden, we cannot see one another, but we can hear clearly what is said. She is always at loggerheads with the other people in her complex and is constantly complaining that other people are looking for trouble with her and will not leave her alone. On numerous occassions, she has complained to us about their bad treatment of her. We would lend a comforting ear and words, but soon realised that most of her trouble originates with herself.

On Saturday morning, I was busy in the house but Hubby was outside in the garden. He came in and told me this story. He heard this lady woman talking to her next-door-neighbour. The conversation was about cats catching birds and then she told the other person that if ever he has any problems with cats, he must just catch the cat, put it in the bag and give it to her. She will give it to "Johan" (her son, I think) who will get rid of it, and then she asked him if he had noticed that the grey cat is no longer around.

WELL! My immediate reaction was hurt, followed instantly by such anger that I was quite incapable of any action whatsoever. I just turned away and carried on with what I was doing, but my anger born from a deep ache somewhere deep inside me kept growing.

The grey cat she was talking about could only have been Massey! Massey who so trusted humans that he would not even try to escape if somebody picked him up. Massey who were scared of birds and lizards and everything else bigger than a cockroach simply because he never learned to hunt.  Massey who did not even realise he was a cat. Massey who thought that our whole complex was his home because from day one everybody accepted him because he was so little when he arrived. How can anybody be so evil horrible to catch him, put him in a bag, keep him closed up for God only knows how long before "Johan" arrived to get rid of him. I feel nauseated just thinking of his fear, not understanding what is happening.

I dare not think about him and this situation too much, because I am afraid I will not be able to contain my anger and I realise I must.  There really is nothing I can do to bring him back and even less I can do to make this lady woman understand just what she has done.  I do not understand what kind of human being she must be to be so cruel.  What I do understand now is why she is always experiencing conflict in her life.  It is because she has no compassion or consideration for other people or creatures.  She is only receiving back what she deals out so freely.

I pray that our paths will not cross soon, if ever again, for I am not at all certain of what my reaction would be if we met eye to eye.  I know that I must make peace with what has happened and I will.  Maybe writing this post will kick off the process of forgiving her. With time, my anger will dissipate, but it will be a long, long time before I will see her again as "human".


janis said...

Oh My! I feel nauseous. How horrible. Is Massey the cat on top of your Blog?
This dreadful person! I often have a hard time understanding why God allows us to have such horrid people around us. What good is there in such an empty soul? Then I remember I need to pray for that soul. As hard as it is.
My prayers for you and Hubby too as you are certainly being tested! I can't imagine being next door to someone so terrible. At least you have us Blog friends supportive and, oh I don't know, we share your anger and concern. I don't dare read this one out loud I have two K.I.T.T.I.E.S. within earshot!
Love to you!

Gaelyn said...

I am sickened by this behavior. Yet ours is not to judge, and it seems that karma gets her even if she doesn't get it. I would certainly try to stay away from that kind of bad energy. It's OK to be angry, and perhaps writing does help. Hugs to you!

leilani said...

Please let others in the neighborhood know what you heard. If her son can harm a harmless animal, he may hurt a child. Anger is good, action is the best. SHE SAID it, you heard it, let others know before a child is hurt. Here in Hawaii what she is talking about is against the law! her and her son are both losers.

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

I know exactly how you feel; and although as Christians we are called on to forgive, that doesn't mean that we must stop feeling. As long as your heart is open to forgiving her, God will make it happen. But in the meantime, you just continue to feel what you do. And use the knowledge you have about this cruel person to arm yourself. Forgiveness does not mean you let down your boundaries.

What a terrible thing for her to say. I'm praying that God will ease your anger and pain at what this neighbor has said.

smoke said...

WHAT THE FUCK !!!! ma. ek is di naweek by constansia. ek sal my uniform saam vat en die teef n hartaanval gan gee. dit is voken onnodig!!!!

Susan said...

In Canada, this is definitely cruelty to animals, and it is illegal. You should report her and her son to the police,and to the SPCA..you are right to feel angry, but to do nothing about it is not right...there are other creatures that likely will fall victim to her and her son.
Years ago I had a neighbour who did not like my little border collie. He was a mere puppy, and had jumped at her...Shortly after that incident (he was only a foot tall by the way) he disappeared, and my two children were devastated, wondering what had happened to Sammy. I found out about four months after he disappeared, when there was a knock on my door late one evening. A woman I'd never met before told me she was a roomer in the neighbour's home, and was moving out..but felt she had to tell me what the woman had done to my dog. She kept it in her basement for 6 weeks (while we searched and searched, and checked the humane society daily)...then once our search died down, she took our dog to the humane society and said he was a stray. If dogs aren't adopted within 2 weeks, they are euthanized. I'm hoping that wasn't the case for Sammy. I didn't know what to do with the neighbour and like you, was terribly angry, and couldn't calmly confront her. So instead, I found a blank greeting card with a picture of a border collie on it, and sent it to her. Inside, I wrote "I know what you did. And so does everyone else."
It probably didn't bother her, but she did move out that summer, and I certainly felt better! Good luck finding resolution!

A human kind of human said...

Thanks for visiting Susan. I have promised myself that I will put it all behind me now and so I will, but in future she will find no willing ear to listen to her many troubles like she did in the past.

Smoke, kalmeer, kalmeer... en geniet jou naweek by Constantia.

Terry said...

oh, after having been blessed by reading your first post above this one just me i am now so sad and crying.
i just cannot believe this and i can see why you are so angry because so am i.
i am a christian too but i just wish that somehow i could get help and put that poor excuse of a human being and her poor excuse of a human being, son into a burlap bag and leave them there together for at least a week and see how THEY would like it!
i am sorry but this has made me so mad, and after all the prayers that went up for massey, i am really disappointed!
oh i just can't stand the thought of this and so this is all the commenting i will be able to do this morning...i am sure that my anger is brimming so much that i cannot make any cheerful comments to anyone at this time.
i feel so bad for you dear girl...so bad the only thing i can do is cry along with you..i feel that i cannot even pray...love terry

just how could that old sinner stand your sadness when you were looking all over for that kittie?
she has a heart as hard as rock and if she never gets saved, the lord will punish her for this...he surely will!!!!

A human kind of human said...

Thank you for you comment. I think I have made my peace with his fate, but I still do not want to look this woman in the eye. Thank you also for the many prayers, but unfortunately human nature can sometimes cancel out even the most ardent prayer (or so it seems to me). The fact that God's grace can save this "old sinner" in the wink of an eye (if she only lets Him) again proves to me just how high, wide and deep His grace really is and I must never forget that.

Anonymous said...

Id beat her,right now.Im not telling you to do it but i would,I lost faith in god not to long ago and i realize if someone doesnt teach people like her a leason,then nothing will.Ive never seen karma work nor a divine will.Tell her wats up or let a hit man do it.

A human kind of human said...

Hi Anon, why do you think I do not want to look her in the eye ever again... it is because I am not sure what I'd do and I might just take your advice and hit her - lol.